Having my loved ones, including my oldest daughter, my parents, and my boyfriend living on a different Continent, is very difficult to manage - even under normal circumstances. It takes a lot of effort to keep a strong emotional connection and to be present in their lives on a daily basis. Now, with the added stress of the current virus threat, I find myself worrying about them all the time. Especially the older ones, my parents, my uncles and aunts. Although we generally talk to each other often, now I find myself wanting to connect on a stronger and deeper level.

Being responsible and doing our part of the mandatory social isolation, which in my opinion, is a “must” to help flatten the curve and hopefully save lots of lives, obviously makes it impossible to be physically together, or too make plans for traveling back home. It also means we will miss out on important milestones, such as celebrating birthdays, going to graduations, weddings, mother’s day, or just simply hanging out with my friends for our usual happy hour at the local brewery. I know we are not alone in this, every single person is missing out on special events dear to their heart, a new norm we are not used to and do not know how to deal with emotionally.

Talking about birthdays, Spring is an exceptionally meaningful time for us, as we all have birthdays to celebrate. My son turned 25 years old last week, and I tried to figure out what to do under these new and strange circumstances. Normally, I would prepare a special birthday lunch or dinner for him with his favorite dishes, bake a beautiful birthday cake, look for cool presents and hang out together as a family. But what now? As sad and as hard it was, I had to make the difficult decision of not getting together at all. Considering my son is working even longer than normal hours at Trader Joe’s, he is unknowingly exposed to infected people daily. We just could not take the chance. But the thought of not being able to celebrate him made me extremely depressed. So we drove over with Victoria to his place with a birthday cake, stood outside of his building and talked. Standing 6 feet apart. When I reached out to hand him his favorite cake, he was ready to lean in to hug me…makes me cry just to think about it. We could not hug. I could not kiss him. We said good-bye and got into my car and drove home. I tried so hard to hold back my tears not to upset Victoria as well.

This week is my birthday and perhaps this will be the easiest. Even though I love having the kids around to celebrate together, I am OK with not having a party or a special celebration. I am grateful that last year all my kids were with me for my big 50th birthday bash and we were able to go on a fabulous trip to Hawaii to really splurge and commemorate this important milestone. In a couple of days, I will reminisce in the beautiful memories of our unforgettable adventure.

But next week is Diana’s birthday and originally I planned on going home in early April to surprise her. Now I cannot. I know how important it is for her to have her family around but with my absence and with my parents being in isolation for their own protection, she will also have to be alone. Breaks my heart again. I am not even going to think about Victoria’s birthday as it is also coming up in early May. Not to mention Mother’s Day. I choose to stay positive.

So, how do we stay positive and feel connected to family and friends on a deeper level emotionally without being able to be physically together?

1. Call Every Single Day

   Call your parents, your kids, relatives and friends every single day. You probably know what they are up to, as we are all staying at home most of the time, clearly the most exciting thing that happens to us is the upcoming new season of “Killing Eve” (a must if you have not binge watched yet) but ask the questions anyways. What did you guys do today? What did you cook for dinner? What games did you play? Who did you talk to? Make an effort to talk about basic staff and give details of your new “normal” daily routine as it helps to keep us feeling closer to each other.

2. Set Up Live Chats

   We have an online business , so consequently we often use different communication platforms such as Skype, Messenger, and Viber but now is the time to go further. Get your family together for a lunch date via Zoom or GoToMeetings. Most of these platforms let you sign up for free access for up to 40 minutes at a time and it is a great way of having your parents and uncles and aunts all together for a family reunion. You might have to help them all individually to set this up but it is definitely worth it.

3. Write

   Write nice emails to the ones you cannot connect with via phone or social apps. Everyone loves to receive an update. Send sweet cards with “miss you”, “warm hugs” or similar messages. It might seems a bit lame but trust me, you will make someone’s day special.

4. Whip Out the Virtual Photo Album

   Go through pictures of your past and share some special ones with your loved ones and friends. It makes everyone feel good to see heartwarming pictures of your life together, funny photos of your kids as they were growing up, fun memories of a summer trip you took few years ago. You will make someone smile!

5. Start Planning

   Even though we are not sure exactly when we will be able to travel freely again, the day will come. So, be ready and plan a trip, imagine an exciting adventure. Be flexible, be ready to push your dates out if needed, but start dreaming of the next big trip. Research new destinations, places you have never been to. Take your mind off from reality and dream a little…or a lot!

We are all in this together! If you have any questions, or simply need to talk to someone, we can provide free 1-1 coaching sessions for you. Contact us here or at doubletake.lifestyle@yahoo.com or on any of our social platforms! Let’s connect!